ThoUsand PieCes ... kui kui :'(

ohayo ..... minna - san

how are you today?

hope everything in a complete order...

today was not a great day to me...

I just wanna type and watch movie, to ignore the feeling...

why sis,,, why don't you have a minute to call mom...

Telling us that you are going back to your hometown..

why? do we have no right to know where you go...

mom really has a heart issue right now but

She kept saying that it is okay....

we really scare if anything happen to you.. 

yah because bro not at home but you

damn you, FORGOT.... cheongmal?

ya unnie bichosoe, paboya?

that one matter, another matter..

have you arrived already?  why haven't you called us?

we worried sick but every each person that it slightly...

am I a statue? dad and mom kept mad at me....

urgh SHUT UP... not my mistake, why am I getting all of the shit...

I can't take irt anymore today..... keep inside the room all by myself

so what Not my Mistake, Don't Mad at me....

need a game that help me laugh,,,

need some space,....

need to be alone....

don't come near me..... 

just wanna scream but can't

I wish I was good at writing so I can put it all in the story

But I'm nothing compared to others...

not good in English not good in speaking'

not good in giving idea ... '

not good writing either...... 

just full of lame thing inside of me....

once a friend, forever is a friend..

annyeongaesaeyo...

want to deactive but can't

Make some effort !

last week's topic was wed and children....

oh Allah, I totally forget I'm old enough to get married..

but I'm not prepared enough to be a wife..

if there anything or soft copy about this book.... 

but unfortunately there isn't...

we must learn it yourself.... hurm hurm 

well that's not my point here...

I've crushed (fall in love la ) with someone, but the major problem is...

when I'm crushing, I'll not go near to him 

(no adding to friend, but stalker here I be)..

his name is AA... hahahaha clue first is Ashraf...(too many rite!)

I met AA in semester 2 which we have the same class together (English!)

he is the only guy who shalat even he was late for the class 

(have bus issues here)

he was so quiet, even until now I dunno how his voice sound like...

And my worst, I'm a girl who always shouts loudly... (bad girl haha)

well at first just admired... nothing more,,,

but his personalities keep me sign (to look at him) nonsense...

my friend said that "give me a sign and I will tell his friend that you like him"

erk ! damnit ! blushed here and there....

is okay if he is my soul mate for the rest of my life (eceh maher zain lak)...

he will not going anywhere...

my friend said "but if there no effort Allah will not help you... unless you help yourself first!"

I'm just smile... effort? yes trying too...

because I'm nothing to him, he does not even know my name... 

I think he also don't know I'm exist.

I'm trying to be a muslimah....

I mean everything in a shape of muslimah.....

If i'm not trying to be like that and that means 

I not match to complete his left ribs...

he is too good for me, I'm just having too much deficiency!

"A decent woman is for a decent man and a decent man is for a decent woman"

(ayat kelam kabut)

huh jelas lagi terang... so I need to make some improvement..

if Allah willing, he meant for me...

Annoyed !!!

hello, annyeong haeseyo, ohayo....

why men so annoying ????

not every men, just a couple or three guys...

serious I can't figure it out....

is it me, the only person who have problem with guy or.....

there are some people have the same kind of problem?

<-        <-                 really? cheongmal?

YES !!!!! that's right.... totally right....

TRUST YOUR OWN FEELING !!!

first I will get to know, BUT

once I know their attitude..... sorry 

but I think I couldn't not take it....

and from that moment....

A HEART AND MIND WAR !!

ohhh you better prepare for it...

well from the previous post, I think uoollss know where I'm studying right

which referred to -> (who have read it)......

there is one or two men that I really annoyed.....

always control what ever he doing....

SAY WHAT ! are you a celeb or a student...

come on we came here to study man not to control everything.... or 

are you come here to find your soul mate?????

chincha? yah oppa (which I considered NO) bichosoe?

urrggghhhhhh...

please dear, do not control your true self....

because I looked at people based on their attitude....

I do not want to look at the fake one.... 

do not be like another person,

do not be cool person which everything seem so cool....

do not act like you can't do anything (I will not pity at you)

just be who you are, because of that reason I will friend with you...

jangan nak perasan ko sowang yang hansem sangat larh .....

sebab Allah dah ciptakan kita (manusia) sebaik-baik ciptaan taw !

Yup ! that is the kind which make me like want to throw up...

please be humble, if you can't please low your profile....

this are the kind I have found at my college....

and I taught I would not face them or that personalities anymore 

because right now I'm in semester 5. (doing practical)

but guess what !! I found another person....

dammit ! I hate it.....

hey "that guy" why are you such an annoying person?

well I know we barely know each other...

but can you act friendly... (well you a guy man! I'm a girl -> sort of )

sometimes you in a good mood, but sometimes I cannot discovered what actually you think...

Yessss I know, I just a parasite.... 

because I'm car pooled with your mom but I just want to accompany her

because I know how women heart function and know what your mom felt...

don't you remember that your mom once have a daughter... 

and her daughter is my best buddy.... can't you know how that feel....

hoy, am I an idiot or you?

your mom missed her late daughter, and 

can you at least treat her better than what I saw...

uurrrggghhh Hate You....

just talk with her, 

yes sometimes you don't want to her what rubbish your mom saying....

but could you please just say "huh yes" "ohhhhh" "ermm" "maybe"

just based on this simple words, your mom - our mom (in this world)

world feel better...  oh man can you know it....

women heart very fragile,

can be broken many times, into tiny pieces...

but we can stand up like nothing happen....

but could you know what inside.... pieces which cannot be glue anymore....

I don't care to cover my attitude in front of you....

so with my friend and I just be what I am....

but you??? you?? huh !

Yes I know my mouth can be cruel sometimes....

yesss it just my mouth like to say that thing..... 

but not my heart, not my brain, 

because I feel it better to let the opposite one...

(the good thing)

rather you let the truth others might can't take it...

everything I do is the 180 degrees upside down...

so others would not get mad, hate me...

sometimes it better just to shut up ....

please just try to understand me....

 I would not take your mom to be my mom....

I will not replace your sister...

I will not be inside your family.....

I will not compete with you to feel the love from your parents....

NEVER <- please mark my word !!

I just want to make your mom feel better...

that my mom request,

because your mom has helped us so many times,

which I don't know how to repay back,

my mom also asked me to be good to your family ....

INCLUDING YOU....

but seriously I can't,

you're annoying, undetectable, unpredictable, 

I'm aware with this statement,

I know there are people outside that hate me...

but I could not help it.,..

 I felt pity towards your mom but in the same time annoyed with you....

Oh Allah could you help me fix my heart...

I think I'm being a cruel person right now...

I think this problem will never end.

(what a long entry I have here... sorry)